In The End by Linkin Park

hey man.. its friday.. but y downcast?? haiz.. tok abt dat later.. diaryland's server's overloading again.. its another few min of pressing b4 i cld blog.. dang its kinda scary to open ur outlook early in the morning n see.. 30 unread emails.. blah.. its all server acknowledgements for my reports.. oh yeah, finally had some slack time after a week of furious reporting... brought my usb cable to work.. gonna rename the files in my iriver later~

finally started on my revamp last nite.. which lasts me 10 min b4 my eyes go [@_@] looking at those <> and div and /watever.. *faints* scrolled thru my source code n found a lot of redundant codes.. gotta clean up...

went "home" after work last nite to get my paints, etc.. i used to think i have loads of little tins of enamel paints for my models.. budden i found less than 10.. n ALL military colors!! argh.. gotta go bras brasah get more colors.. radin got me a mini singlion (the miniature ones for those huge lion statues decorated n placed at PS n other places) its for competition.. blahhh... n i gotta decorate it!! haiz.. its been like 5 yrs since i last touched my poster colors.. 3 yrs since i touched my paints.. most of them dry up liao... frantically looking for coloring materials now.. anyway i needed some colors for my gundam.. dun intend to use the stickers which drops easily.. n i gotta lug the "mini" (its pretty big.. abt the size of a mug..) CLAY singlion.. heavy man.. gotta theme in mind le.. but have to depend on whether i have the perseverence to finish it anot...

oh ya.. asked my bro abt my fren's album which i asked him to help her get autograph of SHE.. its been like.. 3 mths?? n $40 worth of albums not received back.. hell.. everytime kok up.. i think there's little chance i'll be seeing those albums.. but.. how m i gonna answer my fren man.. shit.. will nvr trust them le lah..

hmm.. here comes the topic of the day.. the object wit the big letter M.. MONEY.. haiz.. as i was saying, i went home last nite to get my colors.. my dad came in n sat on my once belonged to me bed while i was flipping drawers n cupboards open to find my brushes which had been thrown everywhere.. i knew he had something to ask.. n i knew it had to be money.. he doesnt tok to me abt other things man.. he started complaining abt my bro.. who was pestering for a laptop to hao lian.. dats wat i presume n i think its 99.9% true.. jus look at all those unnecessary things he had.. the o2 xphone when he jus bought n upgraded all the software in his t610 a few mths ago after he lost MY 6110.. his 2nd iriver discman.. the blue tooth which isnt really compatible wit his phone.. those media cards n his spare batt.. n other rubbish stuff.. there's absolutely NO NEED for a 17 yr old guy to own all these rubbish... its all extras he use to hao lian.. my bro claims dat he needs the laptop for sch work.. can carry here n there.. i've nvr heard of any ITE students needed laptops for classes.. then i retorted my dad.. u want me to buy a laptop for him meh.. u wait long long.. i rather buy for myself man.. then he say my bro wanna stop sch for half a yr to earn his laptop.. i told him.. dun care abt him lah.. u think he can save enuff $$ for his laptop in 6 mths meh.. + at the rate he's buying rubbish stuff.. i dun mind the drop out thing.. budden.. i'll rather he try to get into poly rather than going back to ITE..

well.. dats abt my bro.. then my dad was eyeing on my 3 mths bonus already.. he was saying.. the stove spoil liao.. (how they use siah..) want me to buy new one.. blahh.. i ask how much.. he say 300 +.. oh man.. 300+ dun have to wait til my bonus one leh.. wat if fire then kana all my comics?? think i'll bring them to buy on my next payday.. can u believe i dun even trust my parents on $$ issues.. i was still thinking if its a fib.. i dun mind paying for the stove.. but i jus want to only pay for the stove.. not something else my bro threatening them to buy..

then he started tokking abt entrepreneur shit thingy.. ask me to get a few frens n start a biz... yeah wat biz... u think so ez meh.. need startup capital.. (ya i noe govt will subsidize) but its all a risk.. i'm not interested to go into entrepreneuring anyway.. i've no skills.. entrepreneur.. ya.. i'll go coach bball.. duh.. i only noe how to write crap lyrics.. wat else can i do.. i'm not an IT student so programming is out.. i cld market products budden its gonna be a lot of research which ends up to negative results... so wats all dat crap abt entrepreneuring.. its not dat ez to make money...

i feel like a slave man.. earning money but no chance to enjoy.. stuck in a place wit ppl over concerned abt my safety than my perception.. belittling me on everything i do.. haiz.. cant they jus stop looking down at everything i do, gimme more support, more freedom blah blah blah.. home doesnt feel like home.. its lacking of warmth i guess.. jus seems like a stop for me to sleep.. n everything's controlled.. argh.. nag here nag there.. feels like hotel but with out the freedom.. feels like.. hmm.. prison?? (got a lyric for it..)

ppl r jus TOO overly obsessed wit money i guess.. i dun deny its a gd thing to be wealthy.. u can get a lot of material things but do u really enjoy the wealth? take a billionaire for eg.. can purchase helicopters n planes at the move of a pen but still consistently worry abt biz, personal safety (fear of kidnapping..) etc etc.. in my opinion, money is althou irreplaceable, its NOT the most impt thing on earth.. I have a dream, i wish i could jus own a plot of land at some countryside.. living wit my other half.. (if i cld find..) having good frens like bird emily n grace as neighbours n gathering at one's porch for tea.. (quite impossible.. those folks r city ppl.. they nvr liked the slow life..) eating watever vegs we grow.. trading extra crops for stuffs.. heez.. if only i wasnt born in sg.. such a packed place wit too many kinds of ppl.. i wld prefer to be born in say.. some country side in england.. n lead a simple life.. n meet owen or prince william... ahahhah.. wishful hope man.. but i'll rather be able to enjoy life than to be extremely rich~

我不是你的那一国 不高兴就离开
我就算当一个乞丐 也会比你们都富有 - 先生, 我听不懂 [邱泽]

back to slacking.. 50 asphalt permits.. a lot of things to file.. acknowledgements to check.. haiz..